I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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