Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
