I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
