i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
