i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
