You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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