That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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