youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
