the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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