shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
