that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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