PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
oh god the rape fog is back!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
