Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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