She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
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I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
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We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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