his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
