Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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