it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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