Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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