her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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