Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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