Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize