Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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