it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize
