some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I am available for nakedness
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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