For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
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Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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