i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
