You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
