Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
