aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
