Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
pray to the hookup gods
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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