I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
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I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
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Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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