Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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