He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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