So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
