May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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