how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
