I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
