Kiss
Puke
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
