absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
