I think scott just propositioned me for sex
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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