if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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