...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
