How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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