Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
