I look better un-naked...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So much Jack, so little girl.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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