dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
