Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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