I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize