Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
smell my finger.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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