On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
