i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
