so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
