oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
