Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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