The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
