I want to stick my p in your. b.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
