I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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