Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
