Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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