She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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