I will die if light touches me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
