How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
